A Faint Gleam of Admiration
by Sakuralux
Summary: One version of a possible reconciliation between Scarlett and Rhett.


This is my first fanfic ever, of any kind. It presents a version of a possible reconciliation between Scarlett and Rhett. I've been a GWTW fan/addict for decades, and I've always thought that if Scarlett and Rhett were to somehow forge a connection following the end of the book, it would only come after a subtle meeting of the minds. And though Margaret Mitchell doesn't give us much to hope for, there is that moment, even as he announces his intention to leave, where Rhett looks at Scarlett in an admiring way when she is able to respond to his departure with maturity and restraint. So....in this oneshot there are no fireworks, no _sturm und drang_.....just honesty and compassion.

And because I've seen others do this, I'll do the same: I do not own anything whatsoever connected with GWTW.

A Faint Gleam of Admiration

Rhett was leaving. Again. Though he had kept his promise to return often enough to keep gossip down, Scarlett often thought that his visits wreaked more havoc on her heart than if he had never returned at all. His demeanor towards her was pleasant and courteous. He dined with Scarlett, Wade and Ella. He took the children shopping and accompanied them to church. And he certainly looked healthier, and more vital, than he had been in those terrible months following Bonnie's death. But to Scarlett, he remained utterly unreachable, again wearing the same impervious mask he had adopted after her miscarriage.

As his third visit drew to a close, Scarlett resolved to do something, anything, which might possibly reach him. Something which might make him see the change in her which had come at such a grievous expense. For despite the tremendous upheaval the deaths of Bonnie and Melanie, as well Rhett's desire to end their marriage in all but name only had caused her, Scarlett had managed to find a center of calm and peace after her return from Tara by making amends to Wade and Ella. And even though she realized that their response might be more due to the loss of their beloved Aunt Melly than to anything else, both children were enormously receptive to her motherly overtures. To Scarlett, their love was not only a gift, it was a blessing. And she found herself returning their affections in more than full measure. Being able to love them made her life tolerable, if not enjoyable.

But Rhett's visits did more to upset the small degree of serenity Scarlett had found than she could have imagined. More than anything else about him, she missed his friendship. She was reminded that simply being able to talk to him had always seemed to her as comfortable as donning a familiar pair of slippers after dancing in a pair too tight. And now she had no one to talk to at all.

So, as Rhett was about to depart, Scarlett approached him. The children were both in bed, having bid their farewells to Uncle Rhett earlier. As he was at the door, Scarlett touched his coat sleeve. When he turned to her, she said:

"I think you are looking for a world that no longer exists. I hope that you find it, if that is what you think will make you happy. You deserve to be happy. But if you don't find it, just know that I am here. And I love you."

She was afraid he might recoil at her words, or her touch. But he didn't. He simply looked at her, into her eyes. He then nodded his head and departed. Till the next time he returned, in however many months that might be. But still, Scarlett sighed, for despite the agony hearing his dying footsteps yet again caused her, she sensed that at least a small burden had been lifted from her heart. She had been able to talk to him. And she had also been calm, clear and honest with him.

Upon the first night of Rhett's next visit, several months later, Scarlett knew that for the sake of her own peace of mind, and the stability of her children, that it was time for her to state her final case for salvaging their marriage. And if that failed, then she would have to let him go, no matter what that cost her.

After dinner, when she knew the children were asleep, Scarlett turned to Rhett just as he was about to head up to his bedroom for the balance of the evening.

"Rhett, can we speak for a few minutes?"

"Certainly, Scarlett," Rhett answered politely.

He led her into the dining room, pulling a chair out for her when they reached the table, and then sat adjacent to her.

When she did not speak right away, Rhett inquired, "Scarlett? You did want to discuss something, didn't you?"

Scarlett folded her hands together, and took a deep breath. She then began:

"Rhett, I think…rather, I know, that the time has come for us to make a decision. When you first left,.."

She stopped, and swallowed hard. And began again. "When you first left after Melanie died, the last thing I wanted was a divorce. And it's still the last thing I want. But I think it's an option we finally have to consider."

As one eyebrow went up, Rhett inquired, "Scarlett, are you suggesting I haven't kept my part of our bargain? Because I believe I have. This is my fourth visit here in less than a year and a half. That is certainly more than I originally planned."

Scarlett exhaled and answered, "No, Rhett, that isn't what I am suggesting at all. But what I am telling you is this: I don't want to spend the rest of my life watching you walk away. I just can't."

"Please continue," Rhett said softly.

"If you were willing to work on our marriage, Rhett, it would be different. But I just can't bear this. And that alone would be enough to bring me to have this discussion with you. And when you add in the disappointment I have to see in Wade and Ella's eyes each time they realize you will be leaving again, then I simply don't have any other choice."

She placed her hands on the table, and looked down at them. "So it comes to this. I'm asking you to reconsider the decision you made to walk away from me. I'm asking you for the chance to allow me back into your life as your wife, and in a meaningful way. I'm asking you to try. And if you were, I would spend the rest of my life trying to make you as happy as hearing your 'yes' would make me. But if you can't do that, if you don't want to do that…"

Scarlett then raised her eyes, and met Rhett's gaze cleanly. "And if you don't want to do that, and I would not blame you if you don't, then I think we both need to try to find whatever happiness we can in what remains of our lives. And I'm sure I would agree to any divorce terms you think are fair. I know you still care for Wade and Ella, and would want to see that they are provided for."

Rhett moved his chair and crossed his legs. "When did you become so introspective?"

"What?"

His lips shifted ever so slightly. "So aware of your own thoughts and feelings."

Scarlett could only answer with the truth. "Probably that awful night when I knew I had lost everything and had to acquire a lifetime's worth of wisdom in just a few hours."

Rhett had no reply. So Scarlett continued, "I'm not asking you for any promises, Rhett. And I know better than to ask for your heart on a silver platter. All I'm asking for is a chance." And then she paused. "And if it doesn't work, then there's always the other option I mentioned."

As Scarlett looked at him, Rhett's dark eyes seemed far away, even though they looked directly into hers. She wanted to touch his hand, wanted some sign from him, anything at all. But all she could do was continue talking while waiting for him to say something.

"Rhett, I can take living with the scars from the wounds that I have caused. And maybe I deserve those scars. But what I can't take, what I can't stand, is feeling the knife's edge carving into me each time I have to watch you walk away."

Still, he did not answer. As his uncomfortable silence continued, Scarlett averted her eyes from his. "Oh my God, I've been here before", she thought, "when I poured out my heart, and he said nothing."

At last she could take no more. "Rhett, please say something," she implored. "I know that there is the possibility, perhaps more likely the probability that you will decline. And so I've steeled myself for whatever your answer might be."

Finally, he spoke.

"Scarlett".

"Yes?" She could hardly breathe.

He began in a voice so faint she had to almost strain to hear it, "I was numb when I first left here. And I'm still not convinced that, even now, living in a state of perpetually dulled senses wouldn't be preferable to feeling anything for you again."

As her heart clenched, she accepted his rebuff and managed to say, almost imperceptibly, "I know. I understand. And I accept your decision."

He then shook his head and continued, "And I still don't know what, if anything, I have left to offer you. But, it would be lying to you, and lying to myself, to say that I am indifferent to you."

Scarlett's eyed widened, and she averted her gaze from his. Perhaps she had misunderstood? He then touched her chin for the briefest of moments, bidding her to look at him.

"I know what you have lost. But you have endured all of this with more grace and dignity than I would have ever thought possible. And I do see the changes in you, all of which are to your enormous credit. For that alone, if nothing else, you have my respect and admiration."

Scarlett began to breathe more quickly. Nodding slightly, she replied, "Thank you, Rhett. That means a great deal to me."

He then placed his hand on hers. "I will agree to try. Beyond that, I make no promises. But I will give you that."

Scarlett delicately placed her hand on the side of his face, uttering only one word: "Finally". And then she smiled.

And at that smile, Rhett's shoulder twitched, just once. For in Scarlett's smile he saw Bonnie's smile. It was a smile which had once comforted his spirits and given him that most precious gift of all, hope. And in that moment Rhett knew with absolute certainty that he could best honor Bonnie's memory by not yet giving up on her Mother.

And so as he allowed that tear stained smile, so adoring, so hopeful, to touch his heart, Rhett Butler found himself smiling back.


End file.
